As always the wrestling universe “season” just ended and begun. Wrestlemania 34 had one of the most promising cards of the decade and many exclaimed, “This is awesome!”. Now before, we dive in if you have not seen the show already, do not read this post. It is filled with spoilers.
Okay, now we can move on. Let’s start off with the pre-show.
We had the Mens Battle Royale.
There was a number of good spots in this match. But as the universe wanted, they received by giving the “Woke Hardy” another Wrestlemania moment, that hopefully will lead to a title push. He may even walk out universal champion at Backlash for all we know.
Winner: Woken Hardy, with the help of Bray Wyatt.
Cruiser-weight Championship: Mustali Ali vs Cedric Alexander
Title was vacant at the time
As a Chicagoan I found myself rooting for Ali, but Cedric deserved it. No heel turn, just good cruiser-weight action. After, seeing the belt tarnished by Enzo, I hope this makes the division in a better place. Sad, it was on the Pre-Show tho….
Winner: Cedric Alexander
Now for the main card…
Womens Battle Royale
Feel the glow!
With the fresh heel turn by Sasha. We thought she just may claim the victory. One great spot in the match was when all the ladies teamed up and took at Carmella. Which would lead us have Carmella do a Seth Rollins style cash in later during the night. Then the NXT band of sisters all stated kicking ass and taking names. They led a glorious “NXT” chant and then eventually Becky Lynch had to ruin it. She of course got eliminated shortly after. It was down to just Naomi, Banks and Bayley. Banks would get eliminated with Bayley forgetting that Naomi did not have both feet hit the flow. Then of course the glow was too strong as there was no sunglasses nearby. And that wrapped it up with a smooth win for the blue brand and Naomi.
Smack Down Live Womens Championship: Charlotte Flair(c) vs Asuka
Queen versus Empress! Champion versus Streak!
These two women know how to tear the house down! From the spear by Ms. Flair to the arm-bar by Asuka. It was any women’s game. The Figure-Eight decided the fate in the end with Asuka ACTUALLY TAPPING OUT. With that, her Royal Rumble victory led to a defeat of not only Asuka, but an end of the glorious streak by Asuka. At the end you can see Asuka, grabbing a mic and saying, “Charlotte was ready for Asuka” out of respect. Great match for both ladies. Now, can Carmella finally cash in and grab the belt already ?!
Winner: Charlotte Flair
Also, John Cena learned the Undertaker was ready to fight by a ref and he became another meme.
United States Championship: Orton(c) Rhoode vs Jinder vs Rusev
The Maharaja gets more gold!
This was a bit of a nail biter as are most Fatal-4 way matches. The cameraman did a wonderful job not showing us where the people out of the ring was doing most of the match. With millions of people celebrating RUSEV DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY we were all rooting for the Lion of Bulgaria. Randy Orton hit the entire ring with an RKO and also Jinder’s lapdog. This led for Rusev to get up and begin his “Rusev Crush” moment, but of course we couldnt get the ending we all wanted. A distraction will occur by the Jinder kingdom and he modern day MAHARAAAAAAJA would hit Rusev and there we have it a 1-2-3. Jinder has retained gold once again and is on his way to becoming a GRAND SLAM CHAMPION. Sadly, Bobby did not have that many good spots during the match. But he still is glorious.
Winner: Jinder Mahal
Intercontinental Championship: Miz(c) vs Rollins vs Ballor Club
Classic Thriple-Threat Action
Okay, this match was “lit with expectations”. You have some of the best men in the business in this match. The Miz has spent most of his year adding prestige to the IC Title. With Finn coming to show the Club is accepting of everyone, St Louis gave him a standing ovation. Sadly, the Club was not there to help him win. The Miz and Ballor put up a good fight, but the Rollins curb stomps was too much. He won via pin with a solid performance to “burn it down!!!!”
Winner: Seth “Freaking” Rollins
Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle versus Stephanie McMahon and Triple-H
Hands down: Match of the night!
This match was scene as an undercard squash match before the bell even rang. The entire universe was wrong. All four superstars deserved a standing ovation. With Stephanie constantly “bending the rules” and beating up Kurt behind the refs back it was a roller coaster ride. Triple-H would give Stephanie her first tag. She was getting beat up and then out of nowhere her offense level went to Super Saiyan levels. She was put in the armbar, but countered it multiple times. We didn’t hear Micheal Cole shouting, “The power of Stephanie!”, but he definitely should’ve. I hope the Spanish or Japanese announce team did at least.
The dome was stunned as Stephanie started slapping, putting Ronda in submissions and more one on one. Then the match got even more interesting with Triple-H fighting Rousey back. This was Mixed-Tag team wrestling and they did not care about “gender” at all . Angle and Stephanie had some moments in the match as well. Then we will see Angle putting Triple-H in the Anglelock, and then Rousey putting Stephanie in the armbar. As the power couple looked like they would tap, they grabbed each other hands recouped and then countered their submissions successfully. Stephanie would later find herself outside of the ring as well as Hunter. As the match kept going all of the universe shouted, “This is awesome”. Dana White was even in the crowd and he was being impressed by Ronda’s shift from UFC to WWE. Rousey was put through the ring-post in this match and almost took a pedigree. What else can we expect? Stephanie and Rousey was left as the remaining contestants in the ring with Rousey cornering her for one last shot at the armbar that has failed her at least three times during the match. Stephanie in pain held on for all she had left, trying to lift her once more; but she couldn’t hold it in.
The “Boss’ daughter” finally tapped. She may have loss, but her and Rhonda stole the show.
If you have a subscription this is the match you want to rewatch. This match as the match of the night. Yes, you heard me. Triple-H, Stephanie McMahon, Angle and Rhonda Rousey stole the show. What a great match between the four. Although they did not shake hands after the match, the respect and effort they put into that ring as an invisible handshake we got behind. All four of them earned a title run.
Winner: Rousey and Angle
Smack Down Tag Team Championship: The Usos(c) versus the New Day versus The Bludgeon Brothers
Escape from the penitentiary
The Usos had put up some good kicks during this match as they teamed up with the New Day to try to destroy these monsters. Sadly, their efforts were not strong enough as Luke Harper and Rowan’s new faction gave them that tag team gold. There wasn’t many good moments in this match, but it did seem to mark the end of the era for both the New Day and the Usos. Maybe this might lead them to join RAW during the next shake up? Who knows. The New Day probably may hang out on Smack Down still and go for some non-tag team gold. I forget how much Kofi weighs, but if he can qualify he can make a good Cruiser-weight champion.
Winner: Bludgeon Brothers
Okay, time for a little coffee break….
Shane and Bryan versus Owens and Zayn
Yes versus Yep!
Shane was on the verge of taking non-stop Ls this year when Bryan was attacked before the bell rang. Heroically he decided to start the match even if it was to be a handicap match. With Bryan seemingly taken away on a stretcher we saw Sami going against Shane. Then Kevin versus Shane and repeat for some time. Of course Shane’s kids were ringside and got their taunts by the Canadian dynamic duo.
But out of nowhere, “If you fight for your dreams, your dreams will fight for you!!!” The Yes-Cult movement leader was back and he was there to kick ass. With Kevin saying, “You made me do this” to him Bryan moved swiftly and countered and even got some yes kicks on in this match. This would lead him to get the best of Sami and history was made. Not only did he win, Shane didn’t turn on him during the match. Where will Sami and Kevin go now that they’re still “undrafted”. Maybe RAW to beat up whoever holds gold there…
Winner: Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon
John Cena versus The Undertaker
Prepare for the entrance!
Cena would come out to his music with the audience hyped. Then for some reason Elias Samson. Yes, the best thing in music since the beetles with his Walking With Elias album coming soon said “I’m not who you were expecting” over and over again. He landed one more insult on Cena and then Cena gave him some “ring justice.” Then as Cena was about to go mind his business and get ready for church the arena turned more Blue than Seth Rollins eyes. The Undertaker was here. The 0.01 mph walk to the ring with the entire dome in blue fog. Finally, the bell rang and then we seen Cena out of respect get handled by The Undertaker. After a whole WWE year of not fighting The Undertaker made Cena via a Tombstone:
REST IN PEACE
Winner: The Undertaker
RAW Womens Championship: Alexa Bliss(c) vs Nia Jax
Friendship was magic!
This match could’ve gone three ways… Nia wins, Carmella changes brands and cashes in or Alexa somehow uses 5 ft and beat Nia. With Mickie James in Alexa’s corner it was an adventure. Nia would take out James early during the match and just show her power against Alexa. While Alexa was not “squashed” her offense was very calculating and she put her all into the match. Nia would go ahead and hit her with a Samoan drop and Alexa would still somehow kick out. This would lead to the end of the match where Nia would carry Alexa to the corner and do a high-flying Samoan drop from the top ropes. It was over. The new reign of the dominant Nia Jax has begun!
Winner: Nia Jax
WWE Championship: AJ Styles(c)versus Shinske Nakamura
Rewarding in other ways.
Shinske came out to some lit music. Then of course the violins came out and then drunk-movements by Shinske’s charisma. AJ the champ came out ready to do business and then our “Dream Match” begun at the ring of the bell.
This match began a bit slow, but the paced moved up. The King of Strong-style leg’s “ranginess” according to the announce team was too much for AJ Styles. As he went for his finisher AJ countered quickly and turned it around into a Styles-Clash. Then pinned the Nakamura.
As AJ was being given his belt by the help, Nakamura grabbed and then bowed down and offered the belt to AJ out of respect….or so we thought… Shinske would then low-blow the “Champ that runs the Camp” and then kick him while speaking his native tongue. As he kicked the champ out of the ring the dome was shocked at this heel turn. If you somehow predicted this, you should’ve been playing the lotto instead of watching Wrestlemania. Then to finish him off he gave him his signature kick. Wow, our second giant Mania shock of the night.
Winner: AJ Styles, but Nakamura turned heel after defeat
RAW Tag Team Champship: The Bar (c) versus Braun and Nicolas( a kid)
A Wrestlemania moment for sure
The Bar came out on a nice New Orleans style float. Then Braun, the monster among men came out and pushed that over the ramp. He then took a mic and said, “My mania partner is one of you”. Like literally. As cameras followed him he eventually walked into the middle of the dome and hand-picked out a little boy and took him to the ring. He said, “Whats your name” and the boy said, “Nicolas”. As the dome was in shock and disbelief he Braun told him to just hang on the ropes and he will do the rest. The bell rang and surely this is what happened.
For a moment Nickolas was given a hot tag. He starred down Cesaro and then eventually tagged out. Nicolas was coined the “GOAT of the night”. But that wasn’t enough for Nicolas, he gave Braun the power to conquer both Cesaro and Sheamus. Nicolas is now half of the RAW Tag Team champions. Does he go to school tomorrow, we do not know. But he is already on his way to success.
Winner: Braun and Nicolas( a kid)
Universal Championship: Brock Lesnar(c) versus Roman Reigns
Who really is Vince’s boy?
This match got violent and fast. Roman Reigns spearing Brock Lesnar, while the “beast” hit suplexes, F5s, jump kicks and more. Roman would get put through a table in this match!
The dome was all rooting for Roman, as they grew tired of the part-timer holding the gold. This would bring Lesnar to the 5th or 6th F-5. I honestly lost count. Roman kicked out! What stamina?! This would lead to Brock taking his gloves off to go do “Brock things” as “Vince’s boy”. He would then whack Roman in the head and cause him to bleed. As blood dripped all over the ring and over Roman’s face the crowd turned more and more on Brock. This would lead Roman to put up one more good offense. That offense eventually led to Brock countering and hitting Reigns with more one F-5. The mach was over. One, two, three. WE DO NOT HAVE A NEW CHAMPION.
Everyone hoped for Roman to win and as the dome and the people on the network hoped for a sort of twist ending or someone to challenge Brock. No one did. We were left with “Brock’s reign continues” as the show cut off.
Winner: Brock Lesnar
So that’s Wrestlemania 34 in a nutshell.
Some key highlights:
- Rhonda Rousey and Stephanie McMahon stole the show
- Both Royal Rumble winners lost
- Both Tag Team titles changed hands
- IC and US titles changed hands
- Cedric is new champ for 205 Division
- Nia Jax is new RAW Womens champion( she deserved it)
- Nicolas has a better win-loss record than Curt Hawkins
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