Epic Action Rideshare News: Formerly known as Sexy Action Rideshare News
Hello and welcome to Sexy Action RideShare News (SARN)! It has been some time since our last post; but due to popular demand we are back and ready to report on news relevant to RideShare drivers in the Chicagoland area!
So without further ado let us begin with our top story Lyft doing a new set of background checks. Many drivers have reported that they received a passive-aggressive email from Lyft saying they randomly do new background checks on its drivers. Many drivers said yolo, while others waited in fear of being deactivated after realizing that selling cocaine and rideshare are not a good recipe.
This is of course due to the recent news story of a douche with connection to some terrorist organization was allgedly doing Lyft with a hefty fee given to Lyft. So good luck to those “selling that product” and doing rideshare…
Next up we have many people celebrating Halloween this weekend. Although Halloween is not until Tuesday, most people with a bit of decency will celebrate it tonight. This is expected to cause many rides, however; it is expected to be a minimal surge due to the massive emails that Uber, Lyft and Via are sending to its reserve drivers. Many drivers are preparing to kiss a%4 for tips by giving out candy, wearing costumes, etc only to hear the fated words, “I will tip you in the app” only to never see a tip reach their pockets.
In stats and weather, its cold as a Canadian’s p**sy. It may also snow so what pity. In stats the chance of surge is at 15%, the chance of tips are at 41%, while the national vomit index is soaring at 52%. This may have something to do with the “opiod crisis” or is just a bunch of dumb f**ks getting hammered.
Our final story for today a Todd has admitted to taking a pool ride and made nearly $57 in 1 hour and 43 minutes. We commented on his post to see if it was a surge and/or fake news and have yet to be given a reply. AltSurge has condemned the actions of picking up pools stating, “These cheap and/or poor ass bastards can walk!” AntiSurge has stated, “The customer is always right and one should pick up any ping. Anything can be a unicorn!” What do you think?
Also, giant shout out to Ms. Ace for demanding a new episode of SARN. I was lowkey on too many vacations and got lazy.
That’s all for today. Susan, back to you…