Sexy Action News: August 24 2017

Epic Action Rideshare News: Formerly known as Sexy Action Rideshare News

 

Sexy Action Rideshare News: Helllo fellow rideshare drivers and welcome to SARN. Today is a beautiful Thursday. Prepare to drive plenty of consultants and people in sales around today.

Today we will start off with stats. The national vomit index is up at 8%. Thirsty Thursday is upon us,we hope your car does not become the target of one’s puke. Up next is the surge expectancy rate is at 14%, lets hope Randolph street is lit. The chance of tipping rate is relatively high at 34%. Weather of course is attached.

Now for our first story: The ORD and MDW lots. It is unadvised to go to lot just out of nowhere today. The chance if 12 cars being parked there illegally is as close to the chance of the police pulling over a black driver.Last week we were pleasantly happy with the yielding many drivers was doing.Today, we predict 1 lane being merged into with 2 lanes. There will be driviers doing uturns and people parked in the yellow lines outside. If you can, just avoid ORD today and gamble in the city.

Up next is on dropping passengers off at gentleman’s clubs. If the client is a pretty lady is it assumed she is a stripper or are there other jobs she can do there? Who knows, she can even be an inspector. SARN has found it is best to not ask questions just ponder in your head if she is a stripper is she getting paid more than you as a Lyft driver. Car mileage is tax deductable, but is body mileage tax deductable?

Up next is a story close to home,being leaving the RS app on while in a drive-thru. If one is hungry af, should they go offline or just wait on ping while eating or ordering food? Especially at Culvers near AllStateArena is the gambling stakes too high? Some drivers prefer orange chicken like Ace, but I can kill for some good Cheese Curds. If a ping comes, does one chow down like Little orphan Annie or take their time and pickup customer? Or should the good ole college try of eating and driving be done? Safety first tho, no need to be added to the countless as#ho#es in the Chicagoland streets.

Now for our story on The Powerball. It appears the winner was not an Uber driver, but congrats to them. Lets hope they use their money for good and live happily ever after.

Now for our final story, Google Maps. It has come to our attention that the GPS program is either being given incorrect coordinates or just screwed up. Going to SoHo house by only using maps wanted me to go to Monroe and Green instead of 120 North Green. Other instances of wtf Google often seem to occur on Western, Ashland and Damen.Have you all experienced these issues as well? If so, what should we do?

That’s it for today at SARN. Susan, back to you….

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