Sexy Action News: August 1, 2017

Epic Action Rideshare News: Formerly known as Sexy Action Rideshare News

Sexy Action Rideshare News: Happy Saturday. We are live at Taylor fest. The event is pretty chill. Surgeologist predict the more alcohol consumed the higher the probability for a surge to occur.
Next up is politics. Meeting with the public usually guarantees someone bi#$ing about politics. Often time there is agreement due to geographic. But some drivers are hiding their politics and pretending for the 5star and possible tip. Members of AltSurge have gone on record and said,”We laugh and then act like we voted for their guy, although we don’t give two shi% about him or her. Our job is to make 100% tips. We can’t get tipped if we were open about who we really are.” Steve Bannon has yet to comment on this, neither has Toni Periwinkle. What do you all think?

Earlier we were at North Ave beach. Police shut down the entrance into the beach as the Air and Water Show has ended for today. There appears to be a ton of foot traffic, yet wasn’t the biggest hurdle for people ordering lyfts or uber. People are enjoying the company of friends and family and nature.It is estimated 50 people were pick-potted at this event. Hopefully less…. Who are kidding its Chiraq. The average surge looked around 1.7x.
In stats the vomit index is at a steady 12%. Have fun after 3am on any app. The chance of tipping index is relatively high at 24%. The surge probability is about 20%. With so many events and nice weather one can only hope for the best. Weather is of course attached.

Our new interview is with Miguel from River North. “Hey Chiran. It’s your boy Miguel. This weekend is about to be lit. Taking a lyft to my girl in SouthLoop. I always ask the driver to wait for me to get her. Then I update the destination after coming back 12 minutes later to go a half mile away. Me and my girl also play this game called SlamDoor. Its basically whoever shuts the door the loudest buys drinks for the night. I know its probably annoying for my driver. But they should lighten up.” Thanks Miguel.

Next up we have our final story. Bathroom breaks. Studies have shown that many drivers are racing the clock not to get their customer home fast, but so they can go to Jewel or anywhere for a public bathroom. As the night goes on more places close and some even resort to RKellying trees or going in the alley. Some female drivers are performing the Caitlyn Jenner technique. On long trips some drivers just tell the rider I need to pee and keep the clock ticking. What do you do when nature strikes?

Thats all today for SARN. Susan, happy birthday and back to you.

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Editor for the pleasant site of SDNIA.com.