Sexy Action News: November 12, 2017

Epic Action Rideshare News: Formerly known as Sexy Action Rideshare News

Sexy Action Rideshare News: Hello fellow rideshare drivers and welcome to SARN!

Today we are live at the good ole ORD lot. In a sort of Christmas miracle there is space available and somehow not a shit show! There are some pretty emo looking skies out here. Im sure there is also the thirst to do Evanston and Lombard trips… Queue sizes is about 71 uber, 96 lyft and via doesn’t tell us soo… Wow,ni**as ain’t been here in a minute. Homies even completed the construction off the i190 ramp… I got here after dropping someone off at Ord, got an instaping in ord and uber treated my ass to a Crowne Plaza trip of $5. At least I can now get a Mcpick2 and a cook county taxed pop.

Next up is an interview from Susan WhitePrivelegio. “Thank you Nathan. Today I’m interviewing Brittney from Rogers Park and her opinion on Lyft”. “Hey yall its Brittney b**ch! I love ordering lyfts just
to cancel them after 4 minutes and 45 seconds. My ex was a lyft driver and to get back at him I treat all drivers like that useless piece of s…t. ” oh my. Well you heard it from here 1st. Nathan right, back at ya…

Today is my birthday. Yea its lit, but I got 8 more trips for my $70 uber weekend promo. So on this special day I will like to tell you of a vivid story a passenger once me. So..”Once upon a time in a Chicago suburb lived a man who downloaded tinder. That young hero met up with a woman who spent the night. The young lad shared a home with his sister who was like totally cool. In that night the sister woke up to a freight and swiftly went to the rest room. There she discovered the devious tinder girl. The tinder girl explalained with great hesitation about the current situation. You see, all the while of posting pics of big tities she was only a mere fantasy. For she wore two bras at once to attract males to swipe right and at least take her to lunch. But what tis the moral of this tale? Is it that these h*s are fake and aint loyal? Or was it just remembered because the storyteller tipped $5?”

Ok for our last story is from our new intern transgender reporter Amanda Penetrait from Lakeview.”Thank you for this opportunity to be on SARN. So, let me tell you gurlz I picked up this dude in Pilsen and he wanted to go up to Wrigleyvile. I dropped him off in 40 minutes of traffic and he didnt tip so I only made like $10. I even let him smoke in my car. Wow I think Im gonna quit uber and do Twitch Live streaming”…

Thanks Amanda. If you think we should keep Amanda on the team let us know. For now that wraps it up. Susan, back to you…

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Editor for the pleasant site of SDNIA.com.